MisMatchDotCom

So a couple of months ago, a married friend of mine talked me into what I always said was the unthinkable - online dating. We window shopped for boys the night I joined and I quickly panicked and decided I needed to forget about it for the night. Below are a few of the messages I've received on this wonderful web site in the last couple of months.

Title: If you were a waffle...
...I'd never "leggo". 

Ha, I hope you can appreciate a dumb line like that. I heard it recently and thought it was funny! lol 

So, I see that you like to travel too! Where are some of your favorite places to go? Where are we going first?

While I do appreciate a dumb joke, this was just odd.



A string of messages--
Title: (no subject)
Him: Hi!!

Me: Hey! Sorry I'm just getting this.. haven't been on in a hot minute!

Hope you had happy holidays.. :)

Him:No worries,

The holidays were relaxing for the most part; I hung with family & ate turkey. Now it's time for resolutions and tax returns...haha.

How's 2013 treating you? And do you come out to downtown much? I'd love to meet up for a drink sometime :)

Shawn

Him again after not receiving a response from me: Well THAT was clearly a waste of time.

Sent from the Match iPhone app

Me: Hm.. what was a waste of time? The 4 seconds it took you to message me? I apologize for the apparent time you took out of your schedule to send me a few messages that consisted of a couple of lines. What I won't apologize for is the fact that I do not frequent downtown so I'm not there to get a drink on a regular basis and don't feel that I need to be the one to come to downtown to you to do so. If you would have taken a bit more initiative to request drinks in a convenient location and/or would have tried to be aware of the obvious apprehension that could come along with a dating web site, then maybe I would have responded in a more timely fashion. Ashley

I meannn... honestly- what a douche bag.

Title: Hello and Happy New Year! (VIP Email)

Love your profile and I think you're super sexy and beautiful. 

Would you be interested in having a drink and some fantastic conversation with me sometime? Any new years resolutions I should know about? 

Hope your year is off to a great start. 

John

I just feel that calling someone "sexy" without having ever spoken to them or met them is a bit out of line. Also- why jump right into asking for a drink? I feel like without a few message exchanges back and forth, it's a bit presumptuous to ask for a date.

Title: I remember you...

Didn't notice it at first, and then I realized you look very familiar. I went to school with you way back, even had a crush back then on you, which I'm sure you know, haha. 

That was a hell of a coincidence...your username verified it.

I have no fucking clue who this person was.

Ready, Set, Don't go

Once upon a time two girls joined a sorority to have their lives forever changed. They didn't interact much until one day the enchanted kingdom gave them a castle to live in (well 28 girls moved in a dorm style sorority house, same diff). The two girls lived two doors down from each other and became instantly inseperable.

Over the past four years, ICE and I have become amazing friends; growing up together even more after college. We relate on a level that perfectly compliments our bitter, bitchy sides with a mix of girliness and love. Our favorite past time is drinking Natty Light and smoking cigarettes while talking shit about those deserving of shit being talked about them.

For the past couple of years, ICE has talked about getting out of this city that she's called home for 24 years. Everytime she mentioned it I selfishly wished that her own wish wouldn't come true and she'd be by my side forever and ever. The closer the time came to her boyfriend graduating from college meant the closer the time came from her moving away with him or her going to grad school, wherever that might be.

Would it be so bad to hope that you didn't get into any grad schools and your boyfriend didn't graduate college and you stay at the same shit job so we can never part?

Well the time came on Sunday for us to say our goodbyes. They were packing up to move to Chicago on Monday. Stupid Chicago.

I tried to be the hard ass that we both pretend to be at times but when in the end there I was sobbing over the the beers, cigarettes, pool time, shit talking, back-to-reality checks, "come to Jesus" talks and friendship that I'll miss so much. Of course there is the phone, texts, emails and letters we'll send but it's tough not to be a five minute car ride away anymore.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You'll get mixed up
With many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step,
Step with care and great tact
And remember that life's
A great balancing act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you'll move mountains!

So...
Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So...get on your way!

Miss you boo.

Love Each Other Deeply

"Therefore be clear minded and self‑controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." -Peter 4:7-11

This was Megan's favorite Bible verse. It was the way she lived her life. Today, of all days, I hope everyone around me knows how much I love and cherish every piece of them.

My Old Friend

I don't know that many people my age who have truly experienced the worst day of their life. Sure- cars break down, tests are failed, the alarm clock doesn't go off and we're late for work, etc... Those are bad days. Those are crappy things that happen that don't affect us a year from that moment, 5 years from that moment, or the rest of our lives. I know a few people who have definitely experienced the worst day they will probably ever have. They've recieved life shattering news that you know will never again make them the same person. But not many.

The worst day of my life happend 5 years ago tomorrow. October 19, 2004. I was 20-years-old and absolutely not prepared for it. I had just gotten back to my college apartment after taking a test. A friend called to compare notes on how we both did. I had another call, my caller ID showed 'Home.' I immediately felt like something was wrong before I clicked over. It was strange- they say you can sense this stuff, and I guess I did. My mom sounded upset while she asked me how my test went. My first reaction was to ask her what was wrong, knowing it was bad. I could hear it in her voice. I figured it was probably my Grandma, that she'd passed away. I started crying, still not knowing what was wrong but, again, knowing it was going to be very bad news. "WHAT! WHAT!" I yelled at her to tell me. She started sobbing, "Megan died in a car accident today."

My world caved in. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. The only thing I could say was "Oh my God" over and over and over.

Megan was my cousin. To a lot of people that might not mean much. Most of my friends aren't very close to their extended family the way mine is. My cousins are like brothers and sisters to me. My aunts and uncles are like second parents. All of the cousins in my family are just a few years different in age so we've grown up being extremely close. But I was closest to Megan. We were just a year apart in age and when we'd get together as a family it was Megan and Ashley attached at the hip. We'd spend hours together hidden away from everyone else, while they all wondered what we were laughing so hard about behind closed doors. She was my favorite.

I always knew she was extra special. I was always kind of jealous of her. She was the Homecoming Queen. She loved Jesus above anything. She had natural bleach blonde hair, could get a gorgeous tan by just standing in the sun for 5 minutes, perfectly white teeth, beautiful smile, athletic, fit, hilarious, and more. Her friends called her Sunshine and she definitely was the light in any room.

It never made sense to me and it never will. This wasn't like a grandparent dying. That's supposed to happen. That is expected. A 19-year-old with an full life ahead of her isn't supposed to be gone in an instant. My family has forever changed and I've forever changed. Even 5 years later, when we all get together in our large family, something is missing and it will never feel the same. I cried every single night for probably close to a year. I wanted to hide forever until my time came to go and see her again. Life didn't make sense to me anymore and I didn't understand how the world just kept moving without her.

October 23, this Friday, would have been her 24th birthday. Last week my aunt, Megan's mom, sent our family an email just asking us to remember her. She probably doesn't realize that I've thought about Megan every single day for the past 5 years. She said she still doesn't understand why on October 19 the sun still rises and the stores and banks still open up. I'd have to agree.

My old friend, I recall
The times we had that are hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me and
Somehow sanctify me
And they're woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend, I apologize
For the years that have passed since the
Last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the runnin' and the races and the
People and the places
There was always somewhere else I had to be
And time gets thin my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
'Cause the love and the laughter will live on long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again my old friend

Goodbye, Goodbye

--Tim McGraw

This quote is so me

"I have a good brain on me, but I've never really used it when it came to making decisions about love, which has been a blessing and a curse." -Sienna Miller

Ouch

Not to sound dramatic or anything, but having your heart broken feels a lot like someone came up behind you, put a sack over your body, dragged you to the middle of nowhere and beat you to a pulp, then left you there to figure out how to crawl out and find your way back home.

Is this my fate?

I saw this link to a story about a 106-year-old woman who has never been married and is still looking for the love of her life. I can't help but panic and wonder if this will be my fate. (Note: the photo is not the woman from the story. It's just what I imagine myself to be when I'm and old lady still looking for love.)


Single girl (106) still looking for a man!

AT 106 YEARS of age, Castledermot woman Statia Kealy is probably one of Ireland’s oldest living citizens. And yet, despite her wonderful age, Statia, who managed to stay single all her life, has no intention of giving up and is still searching for that man of her dreams.

Even as she happily poses for our photographer, Piotr, she jokingly says to him, “I hope you find me a man with that photo.”

Born at Ballinphrase near Rathdowney, Co Laois on 5 July 1903, Statia has lived at Abbeylands in Castledermot for the past 16 years. “I moved here to look after my sister Lizzie O’Neill in 1990, but sadly Lizzie died.”

Looking remarkably well for a woman of her age, Statia puts her longevity down to the fact that she always kept her heart and has been contented with what she had. “I never did any harm to anyone. I have always tried to help out anyone when I could and that is the way I have lived,” says Statia.

The fact that she has never drank or smoked is probably also responsible for the healthy complexion that makes her look much younger than her 106 years. “I never smoked and I don’t know the taste of whiskey or stout,” says Statia.

Another reason for her youthful looks is that fact that she stayed clear of all cosmetics and potions. “Some women go mad, powdering themselves and getting their hair done. But I never put on that lipstick or paint. I always left myself as God made me.”

Rising from her bed every morning at 9am and retiring 12 hours later at 9pm, Statia is looked after every day by her home help Lilly Howe as well as by a large circle of friends and family. However, it is on her grandnephew Fr Ian O’Neill, whom she describes as her rock, that Statia depends most.

During the wars years, Statia remembers the hardships inflicted on families in Ireland. “I remember surviving on rations. We used to get tea and sugar once a week and you just had made the best of what you got.”

She also remembers the 1918 flu that swept through Ireland. “I remember my cousin Statia Campion giving birth to her first baby in one room and her husband Frank, who had died from the flu, being waked in the room beside her,” she says.

Even though she never found her ideal man, Statia claims she always got on well with members of the opposite sex. “I always had a joke with them. But sure how could any man live with me?” she jokes.

She then goes on to quote with a smile on her face: “Those that get married do well, but those that don’t do better.” Even though she is still searching for the man of her dreams, the devout Catholic is happy with her lot. “I will stay on this earth as long as God will leave me. God has been very good to me,” she adds.

In the standard message sent to Statia, President Mary McAleese stated: “I’m delighted to send you my warmest congratulations and most sincere good wishes on this special occasion. I wish you good health and happiness in all the day ahead.”

As we wind up our conversation, and I unfortunately have to refuse her warm invitation to have a cup of tea, she adds: “Maybe you’ll be coming back next year when I’m 107.” And I have no doubt I will.

http://www.carlow-nationalist.ie/tabId/511/itemId/4141/Single-girl-106-still-looking-for-a-man.aspx

Love of my life

How can you not fall in love with these little creatures? Bulldogs are some of the cutest dogs around, and as puppies they are even better!

I want one so bad, but seeing as I have no money and I am quite allergic to them it'll have to wait a bit. Maybe my body can build up antibodies or whatever to my little pup if I'm around her enough.

Love affair